Spirituality

How To Master the Occult: Ultimate Guide to Unlimited Power

Lots of people been asking me how do you master the Occult? I have devised the ultimate plan based on what is currently popular in the spiritual community…

BASIC PRACTICES

Meditation: Contemplate how the world has hurt you.

Intention setting: Find someone who is to blame for everything in your life today.

Attitude of Gratitude: Make a list of everything the world owes you.

Ancestor Veneration: Fuel some old family feud, blame it all on your parents.

Health Conscious: Start your day by getting high or getting drunk.

Morning Routine: Post a cheesy motivational quote, nature porn, or something smug about how great your life is.

Daily Ritual: Get current with the latest gossip.

Daily Ritual 2: Log into your secondary accounts to check up on all the people you have blocked on your primary accounts.

Daily Ritual 3: Cast a death curse at someone you randomly picked from your Facebook friendslist.

Bedtime Practice: Text about how everybody is hurting you. Cry yourself to sleep.

Nightly Ritual: Wake up in the middle of the night, paranoid af that somebody is working magic against you. Pop some sleeping pills, or drink yourself back to sleep.

Morning ritual: Work magic against them. All of them. They know who they are. They are… everywhere.

THEURGIA

ɪɴɴᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ᴏʀ ʜɪɢʜ ᴍᴀɢɪᴄ

Deals with the Magician’s Inner World, or Bettering of the Self

Cultivate the pettiest traits a human can have: envy, jealousy, hatred. Self-pity is also advisable, especially if you can flash a really big victim card. If you can support it with a solid alcohol and drug habit, all the better! Concentrate on giving in to vices. It’s good for you. It’s “tantric”.

The Inner Work should be further solidified by obsessive attention to one’s appearance. Unless everyone can tell that you are into the Occult, you haven’t really sold yourself well. Make sure you master the selfie game. Get more tattoos.

THAUMATURGIA

ᴏᴜᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴏʀ ʟᴏᴡ ᴍᴀɢɪᴄ

Deals with the Magician’s Outer World, and Commanding Life Circumstances

Note: Lower Magic is only important if you can get cool pictures of your altar and post them. Otherwise, don´t bother. Just stick with the High Magic. It will be enough.

The basic practice of modern thaumaturgy is casting death curses at everyone who has crossed you, such as by writing a funny comment on your Facebook. For creators of memes, you wanna kill off their whole bloodline. Forget that they were all once your closest friends, lovers, and business associates. Wonder why nobody sticks around.

Feeling lonely? Time to conjure up some love for your ass! Cast a “Love Me Or Die” on an unattainable person who is out of your league, or break up somebody else’s relationship. The path to happiness leads over still warm corpses of anyone who tried to talk some sense to you.

You are also going to need some cash. Worry not, for you can perform D.U.M.E., that is “Death Unto My Enemies” and “Love Me or Die” for others for money, to bring in more love and peace, and usher in the New Age!

Surround yourself with gossipers, backstabbers and crooks, to support you in manifestation of more bs drama.

Unfortunately, they will sooner or later turn against you.

When that happens, cast D.U.M.E.

When in doubt, cast D.U.M.E.

Don’t forget to post a picture of your altar.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ After you have fully mastered these basic tenets, you might be eligible to become the next star of the internet Occult scene, also known as “influencer”. ♥

On Being a Spiritual Nomad

My nomadic existence has become the ritualization of that which has always been true – I do not have a home. My family failed in creating that oasis, safe haven that one seeks to return to, as did all of my own later attempts with men.

I have orphaned myself out of my own free will far beyond the initial need to jump ship from dysfunctional family roots; I have sworn off my whole culture and country. It was the best decision ever. I still wake up with pain almost every day of my life, but there is meaning. In the exploration of this pain and civilizational angst, I am allowed to burn it, see where it comes from and what part of it am I truly.

I wasn’t happy when I had comfort. This whole time, I have been seeking this nebulous mecca of ‘stability’ or ‘security’, when in fact there is none, merely illusions of it. The nature of existence is suffering, and trying to avoid it surely locks one in some comfortable stinky place in Hell, where such illusions are enjoyed.

You may be thinking you are in a packed nightclub where everybody is having so much fun, when in fact that hell is a place where everybody is sad and lonely, or it looks like a stinking county jail.

The only Family that is real is the haphazard community formed by those also pathworking hell, brothers and sisters of Black Lodge. It was the yearning to join them fully on my quest that was the source of my anguish in my previous life. It was the unanswered calling.

I know it because, oddly, some of the pain that comfortable living and success could not soothe went away after I had plunged myself into Darkness and into the Lake of Fire.

I laugh at those who think that the attainment of comfort or even material riches is the measure and the marking of illumination. Everything will be taken from us at the end, so we better start living with an acute sensation of that loss right away and seek no consolation in that which can be kept.

Devil’s Disciples: Mister Malice

Malice is a metalhead and goth artist, an Initiate of the Left-Hand Path, and a devotee of Baphomet seeking the mystical and practical quest of Occult Unification. We spoke of the tenets of practical spirituality – seeking spiritual growth without the books which were all written by men.

Guest links –

The Malice Experience – Malice & Mystic’s talk show

Greatest Problem of the Occult

The biggest problem of the Occult is still the same. It is not persecution. It is not the lack of information. Dying out of the tradition. It is not inter-order fighting and politics. Hell, it’s is not the cursing witches wars… no.

It is the damn armchair scholars!

See, what I have come to realize is that most people who consider themselves Occultists are not Practitioners, let alone Practitioners of the Left-Hand Path. They are salon intellectuals, stuck in their intellectual concepts. They talk about politics, religion, and scholarship, and that’s all. They think the Occult is a form of psychoanalysis. It is not.

These people, unlike the Witchfinders, do not believe in the actual existence of Spirits. They do not commune with Them. They do not evoke. They do not sacrifice. They do no channel. They do not walk the path of trials. In the end, their vicious attacks that intend to stifle every authentic form of spirituality are just plain envy. The doors to the Mysteries will be forever closed to these servants of Archons, who just sit idly there…. blocking the entrance with their fat asses to the rest of us.

Dictionary of New Age Slang

Author Unknown. Message approved by Anima Noira.

To ‘hold space’ for someone

To sit and stare at someone with emotional issues for an uncomfortable amount of time, then pat yourself on the back for basically doing nothing while your homie has a breakdown.

I’m in transition

I’m unemployed and totally fucking lost, so I have created an identity out of being an opportunist. Maybe you have some trim work for me or food? Or a trade? I do crystal readings!

I’m processing a lot of downloads from the Universe

I smoked too much DMT and can’t afford therapy. By pretending that my fragile brain is a sacred record keeper, I receive validation for speaking gibberish.

I’m a Lightworker / Empath

I am depressed and unstable and take zero responsibility for my own self-destructive tendencies, and need to focus on condescending your dark shit to avoid my own. (P.S.: I’ll diagnose you as a narcissist)

I am a Reiki Master

I crave human contact, and this makes me feel less insecure than Tinder. I can cross personal physical boundaries with ease if I so choose, depending on what my client looks like, or I can think about random things while getting paid handsomely to hold my hands awkwardly over someone’s body.

You have an amazing Aura

I would love to bang you.

I am writing a travel blog

I don’t want to go home, I no longer fit in: I never have. I don’t know where I will end up, but I’d like to get paid to figure it out.

I’m not looking for a relationship/ only deep soul connections

I have commitment issues and fear of intimacy so I collect partners with compatible insecurities. I understand you will head off to Thailand soon anyways. “Bread-crumbing my love keeps me safe” is my mantra, while I dip my dick like a candlestick in every Shanti ratchet priestess in town.

‘Inner Goddess Within’ workshops

An understanding of daddy issues and a way to overdevelop the masculine side to protect the little girl within. Helping participants to surrender to the bias that all men are shit (all of this for a nominal fee). The level 2 masterclass will teach you how to galactivate your man’s scrotum chakra enough to make him forget that you pay for bullshit workshops with his money.

A guru

Someone who has overstepped the threshold of self-development into supreme egotism and found a niche market. Carries a flute and has a name you can’t pronounce (though his driver’s license says Steve) and chants words he doesn’t understand. But interesting tattoos… right?

A shaman

= see above.

Worshipping the Beloved

Classic scenario where a cluster B personality type convinces you at a festival that you are their twin flame, lost for centuries in the ether. If you have never been loved by your primary caregivers, this is paradise on earth as your fear of abandonment gets spanked with a mala on the magical, mystery tour of self-deception.

In the flow

I never commit to anything, especially plans to do anything with anyone, so that I can completely flake out and not take any responsibility for it; i.e. I didn’t pay my phone bill this month.

Co-creating a retreat / gathering

My borderline personality friends and I have exhausted all other means of making an honest income, and have decided instead to use our social media clout (aka naked buttcheeks) to radically overcharge a too-large group of saps for 2-14 days of mediocre vegan food, awkward group encounters, and real-world-style sexual politics.

Substance Free Event

Powder drugs are fine but if you bring alcohol, we’ll judge the shit out of you. Tobacco’s cool if you snort it and call it “ceremony” or roll your own.

Speaking My Truth

I reserve the right to be an asshole in this conversation and you must honor it, regardless of how deep my delusion may be. I’ll probably use this phrase every time I don’t want to be called out for my phone bullshit, because it’s all perspective man…

Before You Look for the Devil

Many of you are here to grow spiritually, with a Sincere Wish. That Wish is my Command. You are free to learn and soak in as much as you can.

As the Initiatrix, I can only take on those who by Their own Free Will and previous choices belong to the Current I Serve. That is not a word of sectarian mind. It is what it is. Matters of Initiation are decided by Spirit, whose will I mediate.

I play the Devil’s Advocate here. I won’t sign up anyone on a Path that is not what Spirit shows me is the best step for them right now… There are other places, places where you should look first before you look for the Devil. Very many who were shown to me that they don´t actually belong to the Left-Hand Path of Western Occultism would do much better if they looked in these three directions in particular –

Their Ancestral and Aboriginal Traditions of the Land.

Your Ancestors are calling you. The Land is calling you.

Do not mishear that Call.

Do not mistake it for a fad, do not be fooled by the glamorous exterior of Western Occult. We are no more powerful than your own Ancestral traditions. In fact, we are ridiculously plagued by all of the patterns of our own receding civilization and culture. There is nothing to be found is what I am saying if the Path is not looking for you already.

Teachers and Initiators who are local to you.

They have much more relevant things to say to you than me, some chick from overseas who came to the US from Eastern Europe. You were born in a place because you have many connections to its history and the land. This is true for everyone. You should start your search right where you are.

I started in Prague and with my Pagan Ancestral deities and sought empowerment in remembering the many incarnations I´ve had in Europe.

You should do the same.

Sons and Daughters of the Oak.

For some reason, I have attracted many folks who have a fond connection to Druidry and Celtic path in their heart but maybe they do not know it yet. I was a Druid as well, a Pagan, it´s the Priesthood of the Celtic peoples which many of you carry from your past lives and bloodline ancestry it should be unlocked. I keep seeing Oak Leaves everywhere and even my fiance will wear an oak leaf wedding band. My message is clear, seek out Ancestral Paths and Spirits of Thy Land. Tap into your past.

Only if they happen to be the Heritage of the Black Sun, the Lucifer´s Light there is a point in seeking My Initiation… otherwise, my job is to gently nudge you elsewhere.