There will be a cost to all this that you really won’t like. But making this sacrifice is what creates the new blueprint. It’s the only way to move the story forward.
Lucifer
The meaning of the sacrifice relates to the true meaning of love – if we know that we cannot be there fully for someone because we are bound to other stories, we should let them go.
The problem is not that I deserve a better man, the problem is that in seeing a good man, a marriageable man, I realize that they deserve better than me.
It’s not just that I love another man and always will; it’s worse than that. I love two. They’re directly related. The second one is my best choice because he’s accepted me fully even with my fatal obsession. He has not judged me, perhaps because he is similarly doomed.
Earlier this year I screamed into his face that he is a loser and that he is doomed. I said, ‘Who would want you?! You are cursed!’ But so am I! Therefore the invitation lies not in, ‘Let’s find myself a good man who will love me and I will break his heart’, it lies in ‘Let’s be doomed together and have the good man have somebody else.’
He deserves better than my ass, and I have already lied to him plenty. And that’s okay – since I have chosen not to pursue him, he doesn’t need to know my secrets.
The figure Rubeus falls on the next month foretelling ‘a secret illicit affair with a dangerous man’. It also says ‘I will go from the frying pan into the fire’ and escape a disaster. I can’t wait. I can’t wait to come back to Las Vegas.
Now that I have accepted myself, I am at peace.
Enjoy your passions.
Lucifer
We are God’s unwanted children – so be it!
Tyler Durden
